Lonely. All my own fault. I don’t go out places, and when I do I keep my head down and/or don’t have interesting answers to questions. I’m not up on current events or gossip news because I don’t track FB or the news, they both make me more depressed. I don’t talk to people because I don’t have any answer they want to hear to ” How are you?” or “So what do you do?” in the event i do give an honest answer to one of those I don’t have an explanation for “Why?”
Nostalgia/regret. Went searching through pictures recently and came across some from previous lives. In the few I have that I am in, I look like I was having fun. Sadness that life is gone. Sort of okay with growing out of some parts of it. Wish I seemed to be growing into something else.
Frustrated. Place of semi-work may or may not close this month, the 8 ball won’t say. Do I start applying for other jobs, maybe get some full time? (I ought to have done anyway, I need to make more this year) Do I file for unemployment? Is it worth waiting to see if maybe they don’t close, or should I just quit now? Might be the prompt I need to make a change.
Angry. At myself that I am still not moving on with life, still being a disappointment to my family, still ridiculously, pointlessly, dragging-my-feet-and-whiningly indecisive and procrastinaty about my future.
Tired. Only a few more hours to try to fill with something that seems to be constructive, and then its a possibly acceptable, if early, time to go to bed. Boy have I got to get me a life coach or something.