I had a bunch of articulate ideas for posting, but that’s not what I’m writing today.
So I’m not sure if I’ve just hared off on an other endless research binge looking at my new career choice. I’m still stalling on getting a ‘in the meantime’ job. I went to the library and got books, and have spent several days looking up related things on the internet. Is it all justified time expenditure? I don’t know.
When am I ‘better’ enough to no longer justify slacking around? What is the point where I’m just being a self-indulgent lazy ass, as opposed to taking care of myself?
I’m still doing better than I was doing at not being gratuitously nasty to myself for not gettingeverythingdoneallatonce, but I still have this ‘is it enough’ anxiety? How do I know?
Not by judging by the expectations of anyone else, I know this is Something I have to Figure Out for Myself. That only makes it something I am likely to angst about for a while (the rest of my life).
Argh. It’s like writer’s block, but for my life.
The MBTI/career book I’m reading advises me to ruminate less and take action more. I suck at timetables and accountability. Still having what they call “motivational paralysis,” I guess. Am I making excuses?
The career I’m researching for myself a good idea, I just have to make the first step, the 5 minutes of really getting started.
Haven’t done it yet.
This is dumb, I still think that making the decision is magic, and then things just fall into place afterward. Childish, really. I’m past the point where formulas are the answer.